Welcome, Newborn

If you are new to this world, there are a few things that you should be aware of.

The most important trait to learn is conformity.  The ability to fit in and appear like everyone else allows negative attention to be focused on others.

Learn the art of ridicule.  Lowering the self-esteem of others will work to raise yours.

Your net worth equals your self-worth.  Learn how to make money.  Money allows you to have nice clothes, drive nice cars, and have big houses.  If others envy you, it doesn’t matter how you feel about yourself – you will have won.

Practicing the art of apathy will make your decisions much easier, and bring you greater success. 
Good deeds do have their place, though.  Empathy and goodwill must always be done in public view, in order to maximize exposure. 

Life is short, take what is rightfully yours, and leave the others to pick up your scraps.

Sincerely,
Casper Stith